The 5-Second Rule © (My Alternate Version) 

Goal: To avoid letting anger and irritation lead to an explosive breakdown.

Source: Mel Robins 

Exercise: 

Step 1

Recognize that you are at your breaking point and feel like you are about to explode. 

Cease all activity.

Step 2

Take a deep breath and count backwards slowly from 5 to 1.

Step 3

Mental check-in:

On a scale 1-10, how do you feel? 

Repeat the steps until you are satisfied with where you are on the scale.

My explanation

The Idea Behind Count Backwards (5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1)

Source: Mel Robbins 

“Life comes down to five-second decisions. The counting will focus you on the goal or commitment and distract you from the worries, thoughts, and excuses in your mind,” Mel Robbins.

Mel Robbins invented “The 5-Second Rule” in 2009 to help her overcome her habit of hitting the mental snooze button. Next time, when you feel like you are on the brink of exploding (or simply need a little extra help re-shifting your focus), step back and start this 5-second count down. It will help you concentrate on what you do want, instead of what you don’t want. It works and is quick, easy, and scientifically supported. 

When I heard Mel Robbins say, during an interview, that all it takes to change your focus is to count backwards for 5 seconds, I grew curious. “Does it really work that fast?” I couldn’t stop watching the interview especially when the interviewed exclaimed, “This works! You know Mel is all about science!” 

“The moment your instincts fire up (or you know you know you should do something) but you feel yourself hesitate, that’s when you use the Rule. You have five seconds. Start counting backwards to yourself, “5-4-3-2-1”, then move. If you don’t move within five seconds, your brain will kill the idea and you’ll talk yourself out of doing it,” Mel Robbins. (https://www.melrobbins.com/5secondrule/) 

Robbins uses The Rule of 5 Seconds to push herself into action, to change her focus from hesitant to “Just do it!”

Reversely, The Rule can be also used to motivate you to steer clear of unwanted goals and outcomes. This is how I use it and it works for me. Give it a try, it just may work for you too! 

Avoid Doing What You Don’t Want to Do 

I am going to use myself as an example for why (and how) to avoid doing what we don’t want to do. 

I am not a procrastinator. I know what I want, and I know how to get it. When I don’t, I know how to get the information I need to define a strategy to obtain it. I am organized. I have no problem with working hard. I am self-sufficient and complete tasks on time. That’s just how I am. But there are two things that can “pull me off the road”: aiming for the highest quality on what I do, and my strong will for adhering to my core values. 

Aiming for The Highest Quality

Aiming for the best quality in everything I do is primarily how my mind works. First, I need all of the relevant details in order to understand the logic and to connect the dots. This allows me to get a grasp of the bigger picture. This short process assures me that the overarching perspective will be well-reasoned and strongly sustainable. Some call it perfectionism. Others call it excellence. I prefer the second description because I prefer not to waste my time on meaningless tasks. No! I always commit to delivering high quality content in a timely manner. So what’s the problem? I usually take on too much at the risk of a burnout.     

Aiming for Following My Core Values

I know what my core values are at this point of my life. They may change based on future life experiences. However, it is going to be difficult for me to get rid of values like Justice, Integrity and Self-esteem. I get to refine my awareness when I sense that one of my core values is about to be threatened by someone or some event. What happens then? I risk exploding on someone who does not share the same core values as I do (a situation like this has already happened to me once at work when I shouted at one of my colleagues. Shouting is not something I am proud of and I don’t want to repeat it. EVER AGAIN!).

“All decisions made by human beings are to avoid pain or gain pleasure. When it comes to motivation and why people do the things that they do, it comes down the simple science of pain versus pleasure,” Arman Sadeghi, Titanium Business Down to A Science. (https://titaniumsuccess.com/6-rules-of-pain-and-pleasure-the-science-behind-all-human-action/)

I gain pleasure in striving for constant improvement (perfectionism) in what I do. That is why it’s easy for me to get carried away with mastering my art. Even if it is a project as mundane as a monthly progress report. The issue with perfectionists is that we enter into the following loop: details > perfectionism > self-critic > improvement > reorganization > (back to) details. 

However, I have learned the hard way (through burnout) when it is time for me to apply The 5-Second Rule ©.

Sticking to my core values may not always bring pleasure, however it is something that is driven by my sub-conscience. As a result, it can be challenging to maintain control of my emotions (back to the example of me shouting at my colleague). When I don’t like what I hear, and my heart starts pumping faster and I feel my face blushing, what do I do? Apply The 5-Second Rule. 

It is important to remain open to seeing what your conscience doesn’t want to see (the so-called shadows). Practice being aware of who you really are, i.e. what gives you pleasure and what gives you pain. If the situation triggers a hesitant or emotional explosion, give yourself 5 seconds to decide how you want to move on. You can take control of your focus by deciding what you want or what you don’t want.